That evening.
Having finished his state affairs, Enoch visited the Empress’s chambers.
“We pay our respects to His Majesty the Emperor.”
The palace attendants bowed in unison.
But Alexa, propped up against her headboard, watched him with a complexion pale as a blank sheet of paper.
“Her Majesty the Empress is still unable to speak. Please understand that she cannot offer her greetings.”
“Such formalities are of no importance.”
Enoch took one look at Alexa’s wan complexion and sat down at her bedside.
Seeing Alexa looking so precarious, as though her life might go out at any moment, a feeling he could not put into words surged up inside him.
“Empress.”
He took her hand in both of his.
“I will find the culprit without fail and resolve this matter, so do not worry about anything and focus only on your recovery.”
Alexa managed a faint nod.
“I have tightened security around the Empress’s chambers and granted your head maid the authority of chief head maid, so there is nothing more to fear.”
Mm. Enoch tightened his grip on Alexa’s hand. His hand was large and held a warm, steady heat.
“……”
Alexa was bewildered by how far things had strayed from the original story, but the warmth in Enoch’s hands carried a sincerity she could not deny.
But this was not love. It was surely nothing more than pity for Alexa, who had been poisoned the moment she became empress.
And yet.
Enoch’s dark eyes as they looked at her now were full of genuine feeling.
Watching him, Alexa reined in her emotions, telling herself not to hope for too much. She would be the only one who got hurt.
‘He pities me…’
Alexa had been threatened with assassination before the imperial marriage ceremony had even ended. Even a man as indifferent as Enoch would naturally feel pity over something like that. So she must not expect anything beyond that.
“Empress, fortunately the imperial physician said you will recover as long as you rest properly.”
Alexa nodded.
At that, Enoch’s dark eyes shone with a quiet light.
“I will protect you without fail, so rest without worry.”
Enoch patted Alexa’s hand and rose from his seat. Then he left.
“I am relieved that His Majesty the Emperor is so sincere.”
Matilda said with a look of reassurance.
It was no exaggeration to say that everything in the imperial palace depended on the emperor. Even this poisoning incident would have been swept under the rug had Enoch not taken an interest.
But the emperor was showing the sincerity of coming to see Alexa in person, and he was working to resolve the incident.
‘It is not clear who the poison was meant for.’
This was a threat to Enoch as well. So it made sense that he was taking an active hand in it.
‘But who on earth would do something so terrible.’
There were those in the empire who despised the maternal relative faction. Alexa had never earned anyone’s resentment, but there would be people who found her very existence an irritation.
In the original story, had not even Enoch despised Alexa’s existence?
‘More than that, the flow of events has twisted too far from the original.’
She had thought it fortunate that she at least knew the original story to some degree, but now the situation had changed far too much.
‘If I had not stopped at being poisoned, and had lost my life instead…’
The agony of coughing up that dark red blood was still vivid. The fact that she could have died in that moment frightened her.
‘I only wanted to live quietly, without being hated…’
But the world did not know what was in Alexa’s heart.
The same was true of Enoch. He might pity the poisoned Alexa now, but once she recovered, there was no telling how things would unfold.
‘I must not place any hope in his feelings.’
She felt that once she started hoping, she would not be able to stop. And if Enoch then showed the cold side of himself she knew from the original story, she would not be able to bear it.
‘But… he was gentle today.’
In the original, Enoch had despised Alexa’s very existence. If things had gone as written, he would have been indifferent to whether she lived or died.
Yet events were unfolding in the exact opposite direction from the original, and she could not make any sense of how everything was turning out.
* * *
At last the imperial physician gave his prescription allowing her to eat thin soup.
Matilda sat at Alexa’s bedside and spooned thin soup into her mouth one spoonful at a time. It was nothing more than thin soup, but it was the first food she had taken since the poisoning incident, and she felt a warmth spread through her along with a settling fullness.
“Now, it is time for your medicine.”
The medicine was dreadfully bitter and astringent.
But she could not skip a single dose. That was the only way the poison would be purged, they said.
“Oh, Your Majesty the Emperor… I pay my respects to Your Majesty.”
Enoch entered the bedchamber of the Empress’s chambers without any sound of approach. He had recently been timing his visits to the Empress’s chambers to coincide with when Alexa took her medicine.
“Never mind the formalities. Give the empress her medicine.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Alexa swallowed a spoonful of medicine and grimaced.
But Matilda continued to spoon it into her mouth one spoonful at a time. The bitter, astringent taste made Alexa’s delicate brow furrow involuntarily.
Watching Alexa like that, Enoch felt an unease settle in one corner of his chest. The poisoning incident had passed, but its aftereffects still lingered.
It was a tremendous relief that Alexa had survived, but it pained him to think she had to endure such a difficult time.
“Empress, even if the medicine is bitter, bear with it a little longer. They say it is the only way to purge the poison…”
Enoch said with a look of concern.
“It only frustrates me that the culprit has still not been found.”
There was no conclusive evidence in this incident.
In the end, there was no longer any way to know who the intended target had been.
“But I give you my word. Nothing like this will ever happen again.”
Alexa nodded.
Enoch’s eyes as he looked at Alexa held a sincerity that seeped through. It was impossible to find any trace of the cold emperor from the original story.
‘This too must be pity.’
Alexa held back the part of herself that wanted to rush ahead.
‘I must not forget that.’
The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.
In the original story, Enoch had gone through all those long years without sparing Alexa so much as a glance.
It was foolish to hope for genuine feeling from a man capable of that kind of coldness.
And yet Enoch reached out and gently took Alexa’s hand after she finished her medicine.
“The empress sleeps a great deal, so I hope she sleeps even more and recovers quickly.”
At those words, Alexa felt her cheeks flush without meaning to. The world believed that the two of them had consummated their marriage. But in truth, they had not yet shared a wedding night.
That was why every easy, natural gesture Enoch made toward her felt unfamiliar and strange.
“Well then, I have state affairs to attend to.”
After Enoch left, Matilda smiled softly.
“His Majesty the Emperor is truly considerate.”
Matilda also believed the consummation had taken place. So in the eyes of others, this would look like a crisis befalling a loving couple.
But the truth was different.
“His feelings for Your Majesty the Empress are genuine, so once this period passes, you will surely find happiness.”
Happiness.
It was something she had given up on when she possessed Alexa. Because there had been no happiness in Alexa’s life.
But the flow of the original story had already twisted beyond her control. As a result, Enoch did not despise Alexa.
What that would bring about, Alexa still could not know.
* * *
Late at night, in the emperor’s Secret Garden.
Enoch was there, swinging his sword with no opponent to face. His chest felt stifled and his burning anger would not settle, so he felt he had to move his body or he would not survive it.
In particular, Alexa’s pallid complexion kept nagging at him. The expression of suffering on her face as she took her medicine was still vivid.
That Alexa, his empress, was suffering so greatly while he, the emperor, could do nothing about it was enough to make his blood boil.
“What fault could that woman possibly have…”
Alexa was a pitiful woman who had only wished not to be hated too much.
And yet that innocent woman had been poisoned and was enduring this suffering. It was too cruel.
She was not even Duke Taira’s natural daughter. By rights, she should have been destined never to become empress and never to suffer like this, but it felt as though she had been hurt because of Duke Taira’s greed, and it was difficult to suppress his contempt.
But.
House Taira could be considered an ally right now. They were in an uproar trying to root out whoever had dared to attempt the assassination of an empress who had come from their house.
In this matter, Enoch found himself hoping that Duke Taira’s power would be put to proper use for once.
* * *
Alexa was dreaming.
She had been brought back to that moment when she coughed up a rush of dark red blood.
The sensation of burning from her throat down to her chest was vivid. The terror of death closing in was exactly as it had been.
And yet.
“How unfortunate.”
Enoch said only those three words and did not look back at her as she writhed in agony. His dark eyes held nothing but coldness.
As though it made no difference to him whether Alexa lived or died.
And that fact brought Alexa great pain. The cold look in Enoch’s eyes hurt far more than the pain of the poison.
“Ah…”
Alexa barely wrenched herself out of the nightmare.
Even so, the lingering shadow of it had not yet faded.
‘It was just a nightmare…’
She knew it in her mind, but her heart was still pounding wildly.
‘I had decided not to hope.’
Even now, one corner of her chest ached at the coldness in Enoch’s eyes from the dream.
‘Then why did it hurt so much when he turned away from me…’
She knew it was a dream, yet the sorrow still filled her to the brim. The pain of his cold eyes was worse than the pain of the poison.
‘It was only a nightmare, and yet it hurt so much.’
What would happen someday, if Enoch withdrew his pity and treated her with the coldness she knew from the original story?
At first she had only wished not to be hated too much, but her heart seemed to have already drawn close to his gentleness without her realizing it, and that restlessness unsettled her.
