Enoch was attending to state affairs in his office.
But he had been unable to concentrate for some time. It was because Alexa’s words, telling him he need not come anymore, kept coming back to him.
“Din.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Do you think the empress finds my visits unwelcome?”
The unexpected question left Din at a loss for words.
The very fact that the emperor was asking a question about the empress was hard to believe in the first place. Was she not the empress that House Taira had manufactured?
“Has my visiting all this time made the empress uncomfortable?”
“That… I doubt it.”
Din answered with some difficulty.
“You think so?”
“Yes. Your Majesty has shown such regard for the Empress’s chambers. There is no reason she would find it unwelcome.”
At those words, Enoch nodded and turned back to his documents.
But the words on the page would not enter his eyes. He felt a quiet pang at Alexa’s words telling him there was no need to come anymore.
Even without having observed the custom of becoming a true couple, he had thought they had come to understand each other to some degree. Had that been his alone to think?
But Alexa had not yet fully recovered. He could not help but go and check on her. He could only settle his mind by seeing her condition with his own eyes.
Honestly, this was the first time in his life Enoch had felt this way. To have his heart so moved by another person’s affairs was something that should not be possible.
And yet, if he did not see Alexa getting better, the tightness in his chest became unbearable.
He did not know what this feeling was, but the one thing he was certain of was that he desperately wanted Alexa to be safe.
In truth, he wanted to go and see how she was doing even now, but he had already visited the Empress’s chambers today, and his state affairs had piled up.
“Tch.”
He clicked his tongue at the blameless documents in front of him.
* * *
With the imperial physician’s permission, Alexa was finally able to take a bubble bath.
As she sank her body into the warm water, she felt the pain and exhaustion of the past weeks slowly recede.
And the memory came back to her of taking a bubble bath in preparation for the wedding night. Though the wedding night had never come to pass, the memory of lying in the same bed as Enoch was still vivid. A strange feeling came over her for no particular reason.
‘Can we even be called husband and wife…’
Everything still felt too difficult.
All the more so because she had been poisoned before the imperial marriage ceremony had even ended. If that incident had never happened, where would they be now? That was truly anyone’s guess.
‘Why does His Majesty keep coming to see me.’
Enoch always looked at Alexa with eyes that held sincerity. The touch of his hands as they held her cold ones had been warm.
And so she found herself troubled, precisely because she felt she would keep hoping.
Alexa gathered her troubled thoughts and blew them away into the white foam with a soft breath.
* * *
Another fortnight passed.
True spring had arrived at last.
Alexa was taking a slow stroll through the garden of the Empress’s chambers. Just then, she spotted the emperor’s procession approaching.
“…!”
The palace attendants following Alexa lined up in a row. As Enoch drew near, Alexa offered her greeting.
“I pay my respects to His Majesty the Emperor.”
Enoch took Alexa’s hand himself and helped her to her feet. It was as though Alexa were still unwell.
But the faces of the attendants watching were full of warmth. The sight of the two newlyweds being so affectionate with each other was pleasant to see.
“Even if you are fully recovered, the wind can still be cold at times, so you must be careful.”
“Yes.”
Enoch nodded.
“I had a moment to spare and stopped by. Shall we have a cup of tea?”
“I will bring out refreshments.”
Head maid Matilda announced this and hurried inside.
The two of them sat across from each other in the sunlit sitting room and shared a tea time. The chamberlain and the head maids kept their distance, giving the two their space.
“Empress, are you truly well now?”
“Yes, the imperial physician said I have made a full recovery.”
“That is truly… a relief.”
Of course, Enoch had already received the imperial physician’s report. But he had wanted to confirm it with his own eyes and hear it from Alexa directly.
Meanwhile, Alexa found herself wondering why Enoch kept coming to the Empress’s chambers now that she was no longer ill.
“Um… Your Majesty must be very busy?”
“I am.”
“Then why do you come to the Empress’s chambers so often? I am truly fully recovered, so you need not come anymore.”
At those words, Enoch fixed his gaze on Alexa. His gaze alone was enough to make her cheeks flush.
“Does the empress dislike my coming?”
“What? No, not at all.”
“Then why do you say such things?”
“That is…”
With Enoch staring at her so intently, the words would not come out readily.
“I was worried you might be putting off your state affairs on my account for no good reason…”
“I am not so incompetent an emperor that it would be a problem.”
At that, Alexa’s expression grew slightly complicated. The perceptive Enoch did not miss it.
“Is there something you wish to say to me?”
“There is… not.”
“I prefer honesty. I want to know what you are thinking right now.”
Alexa glanced around briefly.
The chamberlain and the head maids were far enough away that they could not hear the two of them.
“The truth is, I was simply wondering why you show me such consideration when our marriage has not yet been consummated.”
“That is what you have been thinking about?”
Enoch looked at Alexa steadily.
Her cheeks felt as though they burst into flame.
“I said there was no need to rush. I did not declare that I would never consummate the marriage with you. If there has been a misunderstanding, I would like to correct it now.”
“Th, that means…”
“When we have grown naturally closer, the consummation will follow naturally. I simply did not want to hold you while you trembled in fear. I have no intention of forgoing the consummation.”
At those words, Alexa averted her gaze without thinking. But Enoch was persistent.
“Do you dislike the idea of consummating the marriage with me?”
“N, no…”
For a moment, silence settled between them.
Alexa fidgeted awkwardly with her fingers. Enoch watched every bit of it.
“Honestly, at first it is true that I found the idea of an empress from House Taira disagreeable.”
Enoch decided to be honest first.
He felt that was the only way he would hear Alexa’s honest feelings.
“But after meeting you and seeing your words and actions for myself, I came to understand. That you are different from them.”
Alexa felt a sense of relief that her feelings had gotten through.
In truth, Alexa had no stake in the maternal relative faction or House Taira whatsoever. Had she not simply wished not to be hated too much by Enoch?
“Why do you look relieved?”
“Because you did not misunderstand my intentions… I am glad of it.”
Their eyes met, and Enoch smiled.
“If you are glad, then so am I.”
Enoch’s smile held sincerity. That fact made Alexa’s heart flutter for no particular reason.
Was there a woman who did not wish to be loved by her husband? Alexa had only feared the cold Enoch of the original story. She did not dislike the gentle Enoch before her now.
“What do you think of me?”
The question was so sudden that Alexa hesitated.
“That is…”
“You must have some thoughts about me. You may speak honestly.”
Alexa took a moment to choose her words.
“I think Your Majesty is… a person of great strength.”
“That is a very formulaic answer.”
After a brief pause in thought, Alexa parted her lips again.
“I also remember… the kindness you showed me when I was ill from the poisoning.”
“You think of me kind? That is something I have never heard in my life.”
Yet the words did not sit unpleasantly. When he was with Alexa, he found himself wanting to do something for her. More precisely, he wanted to see her smile. That was all, and yet hearing the word kind gave him a rather peculiar feeling.
“To me… you were kind.”
“Then I am glad. It is a good thing to know I can be a considerate husband.”
The word husband still felt far too unfamiliar.
“Why, does the word husband feel strange because we have not yet consummated the marriage?”
Enoch was perceptive as ever.
Alexa gave a slow nod.
“Then we ought to consummate it soon.”
At those words, Alexa’s cheeks burned.
“At times like this, the empress still seems like a child. And she sleeps so much, too.”
“N, no I do not…”
“I do not dislike that side of the empress.”
Did not dislike mean that he liked it?
Alexa was curious, but she could not bring herself to ask outright, so she held her tongue.
“Finding someone with a pure heart in the imperial palace is an exceedingly difficult thing.”
Enoch had been born and raised in the imperial palace and now sat upon the throne. He knew the ways of the world all too well. Naturally, he had grown suspicious of others and at times felt a deep weariness with the ways of the world.
But Alexa was different.
