chapter 35
Beneath his firm muscles, I could feel Johan’s heartbeat. My ears flushed red.
No… is that my own heartbeat?
I thought I had gotten used to seeing him in a gown, but seeing him completely undressed was entirely unexpected.
He’s not fully naked…
Though covered by the blanket, Johan was still wearing pants. Yet somehow, because of the situation, it felt entirely different.
It’s like the real first night…
Johan rubbed my palm with a gentle voice.
“So… how does my lady feel?”
The hand that had never dared to move now moved close to his sharply defined abs. His solid body reminded me of a predator.
A body completely different from mine.
Honestly, it was my first time not only seeing a man’s body so openly but also touching it. Following the unfamiliar, firm texture, goosebumps rose along my arm. I swallowed hard with my dry lips.
Johan smiled sweetly, eyes narrowing.
“You can touch as much as you want.”
“….”
“I am your husband, after all. What’s the problem?”
My face grew even redder. Seeing me fumble in embarrassment, Johan let out a low, amused laugh.
“That way, everyone will know it’s real. Right?”
He let go of the hand he had been holding as if giving me freedom. His red eyes watched me insistently.
He wants me to touch him directly?
I could still sense movement outside. It seemed someone was watching from within.
Come to think of it, Betty did say that this guest room is easy to spy on.
Knowing someone might be watching made my whole body feel even more sensitive, unlike before.
“L-like this?”
I reached out and cupped his cheek, just like Johan often did. Johan closed his eyes as if savoring my touch. Even that seemed to seduce me in some sweet way.
“Yes, you’re doing well. Slowly.”
“Slowly…”
“No.”
Johan’s voice rumbled like a predator ready to strike.
“You have to do a bit more to avoid suspicion.”
He pulled me close, holding me tightly. Johan lightly bit my earlobe, exhaling a low, sweet breath.
“How can I resist this?”
“P-please?”
“Shall I devour you just like this…”
His red eyes swept over me fiercely. He licked his lips and ran his hands along my back. Every place his touch reached felt scorching.
I blushed and asked,
“D-devour me?”
“I’m joking. Where could I possibly devour you? You’re far too slender.”
Despite his words, Johan’s gaze grew fiercer as he lightly bit different parts of my body. Dangerous.
Especially those eyes…
The way Johan looked at me, as if everything about me was unbearably lovely, scared me.
His heated gaze made me second-guess myself constantly. I replied, trying to sound composed.
“Why do you keep biting me?”
“I feel like I can’t hold back unless I do something.”
Fearful of looking directly at him, I reached out to wrap my arm around his neck.
That was a mistake.
Without seeing his face, I began to feel Johan entirely with my body.
“My lady… truly.”
Johan ran his index finger down my nape to my spine.
“You drive people insane, you know that?”
Goosebumps crawled across me. My body became hypersensitive without seeing his face. Slowly, he pulled at my top and pressed his lips to my exposed neck.
I tightened my grip on his arm.
Johan, pressing his face near my neck, lifted his head and met my eyes again. His red eyes glimmered intensely, sending chills down my spine.
“Haah.”
So close. I stared at his lips and held my breath. Johan slowly pressed his lips against the tip of my nose.
Playfully, he nibbled my nose, furrowing his brow.
“Too precious to waste just yet.”
But there was a strange hint of anger in his voice.
“I can’t just let those fools use you as a spectacle.”
Starting from my nose, he kissed my cheek and the nape of my neck. Not an animal, yet he gave off the sense of restraining himself.
“Thank you.”
My sudden words raised a question in his gaze. Choosing my words carefully, I whispered in a lower voice, just as Johan would.
“I wanted my first kiss to be with you, alone.”
“…First kiss?”
“Yes. I’ve never done it before.”
Johan’s red eyes filled with possessiveness at my shy response. His hand at my waist tightened.
“Hmm.”
He paused briefly, narrowing his eyes.
“Are you scared it’s too fast?”
“I… I’m actually worried about something else. That I might not be good enough.”
If I don’t do anything here, it might look strange, right?
To act like a close couple, we had to pretend to be familiar, which gave me courage. Things I’d never dared to do before, I could now attempt.
“That’s true. I don’t know much…”
As my relationship with Johan deepened, both excitement and fear grew. Words I had vaguely heard in the past resurfaced.
“A girl like you can never be loved!”
Cruel words from Libertan.
“Who knows? I might have to engage you to the princess as Libertan wants. Honestly, a naive girl is too troublesome to play with…”
Words from the crown prince who had tormented me.
I don’t have to believe those cruel people…
Yet I remembered every word. They resurfaced and gnawed at me whenever I let my guard down. I spoke to him in a trembling voice.
“I’m afraid I might disappoint you.”
Johan’s prominent Adam’s apple moved. His cold eyes twisted as he let out a hollow laugh.
“…You’re not asking that seriously, are you?”
“….”
“Ha.”
Johan couldn’t resist and pulled me closer. He grabbed the blanket with his large hand, veins bulging over his grip.
“You’re not angry, are you?”
“My lady. No husband gets annoyed at such things.”
Johan’s low voice covered the trace of my question. His heated breath teased my body.
“Among those fools, I am not one. No matter what you do, I won’t be disappointed. Got it?”
Don’t protect me like that.
You won’t truly love me anyway.
His red eyes glinted with raw desire depending on the angle. He pressed his lips to my chin and nose in warning.
“So don’t even think of silly things.”
“Silly things?”
“Anything. Just look at me, think of me alone.”
Though the story had changed, the situation around Johan and me hadn’t. I couldn’t expect anything easily; expecting would only hurt more.
Yet…
I found comfort in Johan’s lies. Even knowing it was just a pretense to fool the Hetel family or a playful trick to seduce me, my heart trembled.
Even knowing he might kill me someday, Johan’s lies felt like salvation.
I closed my eyes tightly.
Suddenly, I realized I couldn’t hear anyone outside. My emotional head cleared, and reason returned.
“…Duke. Is there really no one outside?”
“Yes, no one.”
Johan replied with a gentle smile.
“I liked that.”
“Pardon?”
“Because I could learn more about my lady.”
I had barely gathered courage, and now it was gone! I tried to pull away from Johan’s body.
“S-so… if there’s really no one, can I put my clothes back on…?”
“You might come again tomorrow morning, you know.”
Then Johan grabbed me tightly as I tried to wriggle away.
“Why are you so embarrassed? You’ve already seen it and touched it.”
“S-stop it.”
His arm muscles flexed around me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ignore it.
“But now you should understand for sure.”
The more embarrassed I became, the more Johan pressed his lips to my forehead, letting out a low chuckle.
“No one can ever come between us.”
His gentle voice calmed my heart.
‘I’m tired.’
My eyelids fluttered as I nodded off, and I quickly fell asleep. I had no idea what happened afterward.
I didn’t notice Johan brushing his hand across my forehead,
or the way he whispered meaningfully while looking at my sleeping face:
“What is this desire I feel when I see you?”
“Why does it feel like I discover some empty part inside myself?”
Late at night, rain drizzled steadily.
‘It’s not here! It’s not here!’
The gardener in a raincoat frantically dug beneath the tree. When he found nothing, his actions became even more desperate, as if he couldn’t believe it.
But no matter how hard he searched, the missing item did not appear.
‘It’s my treasure… how could it be gone?’
The gardener, Baron Penula, was in despair. Without his treasure, no matter how much he ran around, he couldn’t regain his former glory.
His eyes, darkened by the night, shone brightly.
“We must get it back.”
Baron Penula slowly scanned Hetel Castle. If a well-hidden treasure had suddenly disappeared, there was only one possible reason:
‘Outsiders.’
He hurried to find Count Hetel’s room. Now, there was only one option left.
“Milady, Count Hetel’s wife has invited you to a tea party this afternoon. What shall we do?”
Betty entered, holding the formal invitation from Count Hetel’s wife.
“A tea party? With the rain outside like this?”
“Yes. It seems she has gathered the local noblewomen as well. But don’t worry, milady,”
Betty whispered solemnly, leaning close to my ear.
“If you wish, I can handle everything quietly. Shall I take care of the troublesome countesses for you?”
“……?”
“Just say the word anytime.”
I blinked at Betty’s calm demeanor and asked in a flustered voice:
“Handle them?”
“Now that I think of it, that was a rather crude way to put it for you to hear. I just meant you can comfortably vent your complaints in front of me.”
Betty smiled warmly and waved her hands dismissively. The subtle madness I had seen earlier was gone.
‘I must have imagined it.’
Of course. Even if Betty played the part of a traitor, she was still an ordinary maid. She sometimes acted strangely, but she was still within the bounds of normalcy.
‘She said it strongly because she cares about me.’
As I looked away, Betty’s brown eyes glimmered. At that moment, I didn’t know that Betty was a top assassin who had served as a spy for the Blanchet Dukes, responsible for dozens of deaths.
I attended the tea party in a light purple dress adorned with accessories. The reason? Betty.
“Milady! Even if you didn’t dress up, you would still be the most beautiful, but you must look even more radiant! Dress up, but make it look effortless!”
It was hard to refuse such dedication.
‘Do I really need to go this far…?’
The host of the tea party, Countess Hetel, welcomed me with a radiant smile.
“Welcome, Duchess Blanchet. I am so pleased to introduce such a distinguished guest as yourself to my dear friends.”
I nodded at the Countess, who looked as if she had worn her finest gown, and at the ladies behind her. Anyone seeing this might think we were attending a royal ball.
‘…So it was necessary.’
Countess Hetel’s gaze was particularly chilling, like one might see from a lifelong enemy. She probably assumed I had spent last night with Johan.
‘That was the plan anyway.’
Seeing such openly hostile faces was absurd.
“It’s an honor to meet you, Duchess Blanchet. I didn’t have the chance before, but your beauty surpasses what I imagined.”
“Yes, indeed. I thought the rumors were exaggerated, but you are even more beautiful than they said.”
The noblewomen at the table fanned themselves like butterfly wings, smiling brightly.
‘They all dislike me.’
‘No chance’ mocked my un-debuted status in high society, ‘beauty unseen before’ insulted my origins as a common-born adoptee. Even the mention of rumors was meant to demean me.
‘They can’t treat me as a proper duchess.’
As expected, the guests Countess Hetel invited were all hostile. But I was not afraid.
‘I’ve been through far worse.’
In fact, blatant hostility was easier to handle—it made their behavior predictable. They didn’t seem particularly formidable.
I smiled faintly and spoke:
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. But… may I ask?”
I furrowed my brow slightly, looking hesitant.
“Which families are you from?”
At that, a noblewoman, as if she had caught me off guard, exclaimed: “Good heavens!” and waved her fan, emblazoned with her family crest.
“Can you not recognize the crest on the fan? You may not have debuted socially, but isn’t this too rude?”
“Yes, this is common knowledge in society. I’m worried for Duchess Blanchet.”
Countess Hetel snapped her fan shut.
“Do not treat Duchess Blanchet so harshly. I’m sure she did not mean it. As the host, I apologize on her behalf.”
As Countess Hetel shrugged, I gave a small, awkward smile.
“If I have offended anyone, I apologize. I am only familiar with families listed in the Golden Branch genealogy, so unfamiliar names do stand out.”
The Golden Branch genealogy.
It lists families recognized as true nobles since the founding of the Empire. One could buy a noble title, but their name could never be added to the Golden Branch. It was a symbol of pride universally acknowledged.
‘There’s no one from the Golden Branch here.’
Even the Hetel family, known for some status, was not on the Golden Branch.
“I still have much to learn.”
“……”
“So, could you please introduce yourselves again? Which families are you from?”
The noblewomen who had been proudly waving their crested fans trembled. Some, noticing the surrounding gazes, lowered their shoulders with a forced air of superiority. Likely because I had not been intimidated.
At that moment, Miss Hetel, Lotte, appeared with Chancellor Orteka.
